Hope

We’ve all heard the popular statistic about the first seven years of marriage. They say if you’ve managed to stick together through the first decade you’re more likely to make it. The more years that pass, the less the chance of divorce.

And boy is it hard.

There are the stressors of not communicating well, not having enough money, plans not going the way you want them. And we let them get in the way of our relationships all across the board.

One of the hardest parts of marriage is being afraid to be honest and share your struggles. As a pastor’s wife, I have fallen for the scam that I have to pretend to be the perfect example. But who can bear the weight of life without the support system of the church? God has given us the command in 1 Peter 4:8, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.”

So, I’m here to share how the hope of Christ has impacted me over the past couple weeks in the midst of trial.

Caleb and I, a few months ago, had been in a super good spot in life. We had been encouraging one another, serving each other and loving each other the way Christ wanted us to. Family life had been great! 

Unknowingly, I told God, “I got this.”

Without the strength of the Word in my life on a daily basis, the stress started to add up.
There was a weak spot in my life and Satan found ways to sneak in.

Caleb and I decided it was time for Jaxton to have a younger sibling. When the first couple months went by with no luck, the whispers started in my ears.

“It’s your fault...”

“You made mistakes you can’t fix...”

“You’re going to mess up your plans...”

How dare he use my weaknesses against me? Tempting me to give in to guilt that doesn’t even have to exist. But I fell for it nonetheless. (1 Peter 5:8-9)

Caleb was doing his best to hold up his and my end of the bargain. As my morale got weaker and weaker, he carried the weight. And while he did it well, I could tell it was starting to drain him. 

Satan had convinced me to be angry that life wasn’t going my way. I was angry at God, I was angry at Caleb, and I was angry at myself for not being a better mother to Jaxton.

I thought it had all came to a head when we suffered an early miscarriage last month. It was nothing I could have helped. 

The world is fallen and sin is rampant.

Romans 8:20-21
“ For the creation was subjected to futility—not willingly, but because of him who subjected it—in the hope that the creation itself will also be set free from the bondage to decay into the glorious freedom of God’s children.”

I knew life would carry on. I know God has spoken to me and promised me another baby (1 Samuel 1:11). I knew that God’s timing was right. I thought I had given my pain up to him. I hadn’t. The stress was still adding up.

Last week I woke up feeling cruddy. Unbeknownst to me, my body was telling me it was done. It was done with the stress and the pain. It was going to do it anymore. I would have fallen to the floor when the seizure started but Caleb was there to catch me just like he has been since the beginning. It felt like a nightmare as all the pain of the past few months came rushing back and what felt like hours to me but really lasted only a few seconds.

After giving it several hours and days of thought, Caleb and I knew it was time we went back to focusing on the Hope of Christ.

Satan knows our weak points. He knows how to quietly budge his way in and whisper your insecurities in your ear. He can rip his way in and you may never know it. I blamed my pain on all the wrong people.

The thing is, Satan has already been defeated. And he knows it. But he’s trying to take down as many people as he can along the way. And who better than the ones leading Christ’s Church?

We have to stand together as believers. Let’s remember our brothers and sisters in Christ. Let’s remember to be honest with our struggles. How can we get help if we never ask?

Satan has been defeated. Let’s remind him we know about the Hope of the New Kingdom.
Christ is coming!

Revelation 21:1-7

“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. I also saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared like a bride adorned for her husband.

Then I heard a loud voice from the throne: Look, God’s dwelling is with humanity, and he will live with them. They will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them and will be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; grief, crying, and pain will be no more, because the previous things have passed away.

Then the one seated on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new.” He also said, “Write, because these words are faithful and true.” Then he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I will freely give to the thirsty from the spring of the water of life. The one who conquers will inherit these things, and I will be his God, and he will be my son.”

Amen. 

The picture you see at the very beginning is our life story. The moments pictured are what has made us the family we are today. Sometimes there are hard moments that make us who we are and the best way to remember the hope of Christ is to face them head on. Christ has already won and He has given us the hope of tomorrow.